Me just being ME (in a weird hat!)!
It's about 10:20pm and I'm sitting in my bed with my computer and thinking I probably should be heading to sleep (since my "normal" waking time here is around 5-5:30am) but can't seem to get away from the desire to write about my present feelings...yes, feelings. I am feeling a lot at the moment, much of it coming from an overwhelming since of gratefulness and a desire to express it somehow to as many people as will take the time to hear. So, here goes, and if you're reading this, well, you get to enter into my weird and wonderful world for a moment or two.
We've been here almost three weeks - man, it's going to be over before we know it. Time...please slow down for a bit, I don't want to experience this at the pace of NASCAR, but rather more like a snail. However, for me, that may be an impossibility. Anyway, I digress. Three weeks and already so much to be thankful for...and there's still six months to go.
I was on SKYPE earlier with Herb and David...they had just finished up with the Thursday night Ride group in Woodstock, GA. So, it was perfect timing to be able to see and say hello to all those involved there. How precious it is to be connected even from so far away. I began sharing about the classes we've had here this week and how wonderful it is to be here on this journey with these amazing people who've somehow found their way to this thing called The Wave. The more I shared, the more overwhelmed I felt at the privilege it is to be here, the wonder of participating in these dear Saints' lives, and the grace that is flowing at every twist and turn along the way. It really doesn't get much better. And yet, it will. That's the miracle!
Well, believe it or not, I literally fell asleep while writing this last night. I guess I really was tired - ha ha! Anyway, it's now just before 6am and I'm sitting with my coffee and listening to the sounds of the morning as the day begins to unfold. It really is beautiful here. But I tell you, the beauty of this place is far surpassed by the beauty of the people who live here and who are on this journey with us.
One dear lady came to "class" the other night straight from work, hot (even the Bajans are feeling the heat right now), tired, and stressed out about how much work didn't get done. She was feeling the pressure that many of us can relate to when we feel as if we are being measured at every level and always found wanting. I sat with her a few minutes outside and she said to me, "I'm out here asking Jesus to help me live in the moment." Ahhh...isn't that place we often find it hardest to live? By the end of the evening, the "stuff" and the "stress" was still waiting back at the office for her, but she was going back to it knowing the Truth a little more personally.
Another dear "Waver" shared with us in the beginning that he really didn't want to be a part of it. He had many reasons for this, all which were real in terms of his life and experience. But, he decided to come nonetheless. The weekend retreat was a real surprise for him and by the end of it, he was the best advertisement we could have had for what it's all about. And at class the first night, tired and weary though he was from a long day, he share with us even more of himself, and it was glorious.
These are just a couple of simple and non-dramatic examples of what it's like to be here doing what I'm doing. However, as I walk alongside these wonderful Sons and Daughters of God, and they with me, my life is being enriched and changed at every encounter.
Another aspect of this journey that most of you probably haven't even thought about is the miracle it has been and will continue to be for us to be here...financially. With the world economy in a heap of trouble, the US economy being one of the worst, my personal support being at the lowest it's been in years (maybe ever), and Barbados being one of the most expensive places on the planet to live, here we are, taken care of in every way. The generosity of the church, the gifts from people all over, and ultimately Father's mysterious means of pulling it all together, have been constantly a reminder to me that I am not in control and this is NOT about ME!
There's a song that has been a favorite of mine for a long time...it's simply called, "Enough." I love the lyrics and recently they have been playing over and over again in my mind. I think they express much of what I've been feeling through the first few weeks of this grand adventure. Here's just the first verse and the chorus...see if they don't ring True in your heart.
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.