More than Enough...

Wave #3 at First Gathering

Jeff working on his title page

Retha sharing with Wave #2

Working on journals at the retreat

It's about 10:20pm and I'm sitting in my bed with my computer and thinking I probably should be heading to sleep (since my "normal" waking time here is around 5-5:30am) but can't seem to get away from the desire to write about my present feelings...yes, feelings. I am feeling a lot at the moment, much of it coming from an overwhelming since of gratefulness and a desire to express it somehow to as many people as will take the time to hear. So, here goes, and if you're reading this, well, you get to enter into my weird and wonderful world for a moment or two.

Me just being ME (in a weird hat!)!

We've been here almost three weeks - man, it's going to be over before we know it. Time...please slow down for a bit, I don't want to experience this at the pace of NASCAR, but rather more like a snail. However, for me, that may be an impossibility. Anyway, I digress. Three weeks and already so much to be thankful for...and there's still six months to go.



I was on SKYPE earlier with Herb and David...they had just finished up with the Thursday night Ride group in Woodstock, GA. So, it was perfect timing to be able to see and say hello to all those involved there. How precious it is to be connected even from so far away. I began sharing about the classes we've had here this week and how wonderful it is to be here on this journey with these amazing people who've somehow found their way to this thing called The Wave. The more I shared, the more overwhelmed I felt at the privilege it is to be here, the wonder of participating in these dear Saints' lives, and the grace that is flowing at every twist and turn along the way. It really doesn't get much better. And yet, it will. That's the miracle!



Well, believe it or not, I literally fell asleep while writing this last night. I guess I really was tired - ha ha! Anyway, it's now just before 6am and I'm sitting with my coffee and listening to the sounds of the morning as the day begins to unfold. It really is beautiful here. But I tell you, the beauty of this place is far surpassed by the beauty of the people who live here and who are on this journey with us.

One dear lady came to "class" the other night straight from work, hot (even the Bajans are feeling the heat right now), tired, and stressed out about how much work didn't get done. She was feeling the pressure that many of us can relate to when we feel as if we are being measured at every level and always found wanting. I sat with her a few minutes outside and she said to me, "I'm out here asking Jesus to help me live in the moment." Ahhh...isn't that place we often find it hardest to live? By the end of the evening, the "stuff" and the "stress" was still waiting back at the office for her, but she was going back to it knowing the Truth a little more personally.

Another dear "Waver" shared with us in the beginning that he really didn't want to be a part of it. He had many reasons for this, all which were real in terms of his life and experience. But, he decided to come nonetheless. The weekend retreat was a real surprise for him and by the end of it, he was the best advertisement we could have had for what it's all about. And at class the first night, tired and weary though he was from a long day, he share with us even more of himself, and it was glorious.

These are just a couple of simple and non-dramatic examples of what it's like to be here doing what I'm doing. However, as I walk alongside these wonderful Sons and Daughters of God, and they with me, my life is being enriched and changed at every encounter.

Another aspect of this journey that most of you probably haven't even thought about is the miracle it has been and will continue to be for us to be here...financially. With the world economy in a heap of trouble, the US economy being one of the worst, my personal support being at the lowest it's been in years (maybe ever), and Barbados being one of the most expensive places on the planet to live, here we are, taken care of in every way. The generosity of the church, the gifts from people all over, and ultimately Father's mysterious means of pulling it all together, have been constantly a reminder to me that I am not in control and this is NOT about ME!

There's a song that has been a favorite of mine for a long time...it's simply called, "Enough." I love the lyrics and recently they have been playing over and over again in my mind. I think they express much of what I've been feeling through the first few weeks of this grand adventure. Here's just the first verse and the chorus...see if they don't ring True in your heart.

You are my supply

My breath of life

Still more awesome than I know.

You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.

And all of you is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with your love

And all I have in you is more than enough

I can't say it any better than that...

Sandi's Snippets

Today is a special day. Why should that be so? Not just because I find myself on the beautiful island of Barbados, although that would in itself lend to it being a special day. But we all know that after a while, our surroundings normalize and it can be easy to take things for granted. What makes this day special is that we have completed all three of our retreats; we've become friends with 23 new people and we did that by listening to their in depth stories. One by one, they told us about their lives, their joys, their heartaches, their achievements, their losses, and through it all, there was the "to be marveled at" overall story of how God has been in it all. The Master Storyteller has interwoven all the events of their lives and caused it all to work together for good. Just like God, isn't it?

We ate meals together, we laughed together, sometimes there were tears and often there was wonder. How did it happen?How is it that we are all in the same place at the same time?

We are running three Waves simultaneously: Monday night, Tuesday morning and Wednesday night and so we had three separate retreats. Retreat No. 1 was called Free To Be Me; No. 2 "That I May Receive"; No. 3 "Into The Mystery".

We said goodbye to Herb Sims, the pastor of Grace Life Church along with Whitney Houston yesterday. Today Samantha Morrow returns to Woodstock and that leaves Laurie, Retha, Barry and me in the house. We will be doing most of the teaching which will require time for preparation. And we will be coaching and mentoring. We plan to make sure that we have one day a week when we totally chill and enjoy our gorgeous surroundings.

Barbados Grace Fellowship have provided us with a very comfortable house which has a little plunge pool out back. They have rented a car for our use and are making sure that we have a food budget. We are so encouraged by how well they are taking care of us.

Tonight we have our first class with Wave No.1 and we are excited to anticipate a good time of teaching and dialogue. It is an immense privilege to witness the Holy Spirit at work in our midst.

Please continue to pray for us and, if you have access to Face Book, you can see more pictures that help tell our Barbados Story.

Sandi.

Still Amazed...

Sorry I've not been able to write for a few days, but, it's not been in the schedule or the focus...but, this morning I'm feeling a little inspiration so here goes...

After the first retreat we almost immediately moved in the the second. This Wave is a smaller, co-ed group, and included a couple of people I didn't know too well. It was nice to not have such a large number as it made for longer conversations and a much more relaxed schedule. And, as you would imagine, we were not disappointed and in fact, wonderfully amazed!

These retreats are not easy to explain. Even those who are about to attend would tell you most times, "I had no idea what I was going into..." And this time was no different. One participant said after it was all over, "I did NOT want to come but I wouldn't have traded this for anything. I have known these people for years, but now I feel connected to them in a way I had no idea I could be." And so the story goes. At the end of the weekend we were all pretty tired...it had been several intense days in a row. But, we were all so content and in awe of what our time had been.

Tuesday morning we had our first regular meeting with the ladies Wave. We had a wonderful time of sharing and talking together about life in Jesus and the deception in which we often live and how that affects our relationship with God, ourselves, and others. As we sat together and I heard the hearts of these beautiful women share so openly, my heart welled up with thanksgiving and the tears flowed from my eyes. I'm still amazed that we are here and that I get to be a part of this truly miraculous journey.

We've had a little time to relax in between another Atlanta-ite (Whitney) arriving to be a part of the final retreat, still settling into the new home and surroundings and the many hours of deep conversation (most of you know how Herb's mind never stops!). Yesteday we finally had a full day off with no appointments, classes or meetings (apart from the "in the plunge pool" discussion on Galatians where Herb literally read from his Bible while standing in the pool-gotta love that picture!). We all got a bit fried at the beach (the sun is quite intense here) but enjoyed just "being" for a day. Today, Whitney, Sam and Retha are being treated to a day trip around the island by one of the ladies from the Wave (Vicky). So...all in all, life is good.

Tomorrow begins Wave #3 and retreate #3 in two weeks. We can't wait to see what this weekend will hold. I will come back after the finish to tell you all about it!! Till then...keep checking back for other posts...I'm encouraging the rest of the team to get on here and tell you of their experiences.

The Retreat Numero Uno

Here are a few pictures of these lovely women from this past weekend! I hope you enjoy their faces as much as I did. 

The Wave #2

(left to right top: Debbie, Retha, Heather, Laurie, Emma, Linda 

bottom: me, Emily, Heather C, Sandy, Cathy, Nicole, Sandi G.)

Enjoying each others company

Sharing their Title Pages

(left to right: Heather C, Cathy)

More to come!

The Reality of the Impossible…

I’m sitting on the back veranda of my new home in Barbados…did I really say that? My new home??? Well, at least for the next 6+ months, this will be that for me. It sounds very strange…but it’s also unbelievably exciting.

It’s early in the morning and I’m awake far too early for about the 5th day in a row. I am adjusting: new bed, VERY early sunrise, sharing a room, etc. I will find my routine soon, I’m sure.

The Wave team (Barry & Sandi Grecu, Retha Badenhorst, & myself) arrived here last Saturday afternoon. We had about 2 days to begin settling into our new home and preparing for our first of three retreats for the 25 Saints who’ve said they wanted to participate in this miracle. Yes, believe me, it’s a miracle. There’s so many evidences of that I can barely begin to write them down, but here’s a few:
*Divine connection with Heather (church leader) 18 months ago
*The provision for a team of us to come here early this year for two weeks
*The passion and hunger that came out of that time for a “movement” to happen amongst the

church
*The plans coming together in just 6 months for us to be here to introduce “The Wave” and

journey with them through it
*Literally miraculous provision for every detail
*25 people who want to know Jesus as LIFE itself and find it in community

We began Tuesday with 9 women (and the team plus Sammy Morrow who has joined us for these first 2 weeks). Our theme for this group is "Free to be Me!" and for each one of us, it will be amazing to watch us become more aware of just how free we really are. From the start we found ourselves enjoying the beauty of these ladies, inside and out. And as we began the journey of hearing each one of their stories, we couldn’t help but love them more! And, of course, we saw Jesus alive and well and living in each one of them and their journey so far!

Today, we do it all over again with another 7 men and women. The theme for this group is "That I May Receive." We will be excited to see just what Father has in store in drawing us to a place of receiving of His Life. Won't you pray with us for all that He desires for us? We are confident that He will be faithful to do more than we can even begin to imagine.

So...that's all for now...I'll be back again after the weekend to update you from here...

Till Next Time…

Return with me to Sunday morning in Barbados…we were up rather early to get everything packed and out of the guest house by 8am. As I cleaned out the refrigerator, made our last pot of coffee, and then finally hit the showers to dress for the last time on this trip, my heart was heavy with emotion. “I don’t want to leave,” my heart spoke. This is rather unusual for me when preparing to return home – usually, I’m more than ready.

As we drove to where we would share our last time of worship with the BGF saints, again I kept feeling the sadness of saying good-bye to the precious people who had entered my heart, never to leave. I kept telling myself that the likelihood of a return to this beautiful place was good; still, my heart did not stop struggling.

I was so proud of David up there leading worhip with our Tracy and the lovely Nicole and Linda and the handsome Ron of BGF. Just think about it, 18 months ago he was barely speaking English, and now his heart is being shared through his glorious gift to lead us into an experience of letting our hearts express their overflow of praise to our Father. It made me smile from ear to ear and soon, the tears began welling up in my eyes. “God, you are amazing, there’s no doubt about it. The evidence is all around me.”

Here’s the problem, I was going to need to pull it together because I was the speaker for the morning. Crying through a sermon is NEVER a good thing. People have to be able to understand you and it doesn’t help much to be all choked up. I knew I was in trouble the minute I turned on the mic.

As I looked out into the crowd, the incredible gift of being in that moment was just too much. Two weeks ago these people had been total strangers; now, they are as special to me as any friend I have. That’s not normal – no – it’s miraculous. And that thought overwhelmed me. I had no choice but to just forget about decorum and tell them what I thought of them – they are glorious, radiant and the most generous people I’ve ever come across (by now, there was no stopping the tears). I can still feel the uniqueness of those moments as I write about it; I experienced Life and it was no small thing.

As I finished speaking, the sadness reminded me again of the fact that in now less than 90 minutes I would have to hug everyone and say good-bye. I loved talking to people and hearing how God had shown them such wonderful things through our being there – but, I didn’t like those last hugs that meant I wouldn’t be seeing them again for a long while. I just kept saying these words as we parted that comforted my heart a bit…“Till next time!”

On the plane home I tried to sleep. I was exhausted in every way. But, as I closed my eyes in hopes of a nap, pictures and conversations of the previous two weeks filled my mind. And all I could do was worship. Following are some of the thoughts I had about the people with whom I spent some of the most memorable time of my life:

My team: Herb, Tracy, Ralph, Cynthia, Ken, Pauline, David, Barry and Sandi…each one of you have made this experience and my life all the richer. I have so many fond memories of our time together that it would take too much to write it all down. But, I want you all to know that I love you, respect you, and thank God for bringing us together for this adventure. I appreciate each one of you for your unique expression of Jesus to me and for the ways your presence revealed His grace and goodness. Thanks for the sacrifice of your time and absence from your families – I’m sure you would agree that it was worth it.

To the Saints BGF: Wow –what a glorious demonstration of the magnificence of Christ you are. Each one of you has served me in ways of which you’ll never know the impact, but it has been grand. Your generosity and joy overflows and we couldn’t have been any more spoiled. I wish I could take each one of you home with me and let the saints of Woodstock, GA get a glimpse of you in person. They too would be overwhelmed with the reality of God’s goodness through you. I can’t wait to see what further connection Father has planned for us. I can’t imagine it getting any better – but, I think it might! I love you all and pray for you for even greater revelation of the depths of our Jesus’ Life in you, and love for you.

So, for now I’ll sign off as I hold on to the special moments that even now linger in my memory.

Till next time…

We Love BGF!!!

Concept of God

It is my last full day on the island of Barbados. I decided after breakfast to go down to the beach right in front of our guest house. I had yet to take in that particular spot. So here I go, by myself, in search for Elizabeth a treasure from the sea. I walked back and forth allowing the waves to spill only onto my feet and ankles as I looked. The many shades of the turquoise ocean have yet to bore me. And while the loud roar of the waves has made some of our conversations difficult to hear, I still take a deep breath at the mightiness of the constant sound.

After walking a bit and finding a few treasures just the right size to pack in my suitcase, I sit down on a big rock. The water splashes once in a while over my feet enough to cool me. “You’ve carried me through it all….everything I have come through, You have seen me through it. I have learned to trust You, to rely on You and to need nothing more than You. Sometimes that can cause others to misunderstand me and think they don’t matter to me. Nothing is further from the truth….yet the reality of living life from a freedom of knowing that my significance, worth and value can only be realized as I look dead center on the sufficiency of the finished work on the Cross. Fill me with a fresh love.”

While sitting on that rock, looking out over the horizon and back again to the coming and going of the tide, I thought of my “picture of God” I had drawn back in the summer of ’99. I had believed the lie that God was One who played cruel tricks on His children and was playing one on me by yanking one ministry opportunity after another out of my reach. All of a sudden this one shell caught my attention. It was being carried in and then back out again with each new wave. I remembered what I had learned about the ocean and shells. The continual movement refines these shells, turning them into smooth stones. After many motions of the rough sand over them, back and forth through the ocean, eventually they are smoothed….much like me. The dark, difficult times of my life have been refining, conforming me to the work of the Father.

In this moment, I saw a beautiful picture of God: He has always been at work, preparing me and preparing others for me. Instead of yanking opportunities like a cruel trickster, He has been orchestrating something beautiful that only He could see. He loves me and He loves those I will minister to and He knows what is best. He knows when it is best. I can trust Him still and join Him in what He is already doing in my life. I don’t need to seek some thing, He will guide me to it. I don’t need to envy someone else’s opportunity of ministry; I am content where He has me. Trust, reliance and dependence: good choices I can make because of who I am and Whose I am.

Cynthia (Now that I am back home, you can find my blogs at: ragamuffintea.blogspot.com)